The Chuck Norris Thread
MissBint37
Posts: 1,503
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
Ride it like you stole it!
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walker texas ranger is about to start on bravo, get the f in!!0
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Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.Ride it like you stole it!0
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Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.0
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Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day.Ride it like you stole it!0
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If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's f**king beef!0
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control."It is not impossible, its just improbable"
Specialized Rockhopper Pro Disc 080 -
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.0
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.Ride it like you stole it!0
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris."It is not impossible, its just improbable"
Specialized Rockhopper Pro Disc 080 -
Chuck Norris doesn't need to ride a bike, his destination comes to him!
(I could do this all day)0 -
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live."It is not impossible, its just improbable"
Specialized Rockhopper Pro Disc 080 -
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.0
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.Ride it like you stole it!0
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Cat With No Tail wrote:
(I could do this all day)
chuck could do it for 2 days0 -
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding"It is not impossible, its just improbable"
Specialized Rockhopper Pro Disc 080 -
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.0
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There is no chin under Chuck Norris's beard, Just another fist waiting to strike!0
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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Jeep.0
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.0
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Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.0
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Cat With No Tail wrote:Chuck Norris doesn't need to ride a bike, his destination comes to him!
(I could do this all day)
Far better than working hehe! I've managed 10 mins work since 08:30
Chuck would have wanted it though and if my boss finds out I can just get Chuck to give her a roundhouse kick to the head.Ride it like you stole it!0 -
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".0
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Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.Ride it like you stole it!0
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Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.0
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MPs only paying back the expenses, it not because they want to save their job, it not because they worry about the public reaction but it was because Chuck Norris told them to do so."It is not impossible, its just improbable"
Specialized Rockhopper Pro Disc 080 -
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter!Ride it like you stole it!0
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Chuck Norris once went to Chile, but was disappointed to discover the nation is not famous for chili, the food. He then proceeded to make his own chili out of puppy meat and tears from the native children.0
